MY LIFE WITH HIV

I will call myself Nomsa Motha*. It is not my real name and I will tell you why I do not reveal it. I am 32-year-old mother of two. I am living positively with HIV and AIDS. But I have one problem.

With many of us still battling with stigmatisation, I have had a hard time revealing my status to my in-laws.

My husband knows about my status and he is ok with it. But I worry about his relatives and whether they will accept me with the disease I am living with or if they might push him to leave me.

I already lost the father of my first child when I told him I was diagnosed with HIV. I found out about my status in 2004 when my second baby, a daughter I had with my first lover, died at three months.

I was devastated by her death. I had gotten so close to her and parting broke my heart. I had not suspected that she could have died of HIV. But at the hospital it was revealed that my baby was infected with HIV and had died of an HIV-related illness.

A terrifying revelation
The nurses and doctors advised me to go for HIV counselling and testing. I did and the result came back positive. I was still hurting and mourning my baby. The results just terrified me. I thought I was going to die just as she had.

Then I had to tell my partner about the HIV status and that it had taken our baby’s life. He walked out on me just when I needed his support. I was depressed.

Fortunately my family members were supportive. They were there for me throughout the grief of losing a baby and a partner.

The baby was later buried and my health began to deteriorate. I went for a tuberculosis (TB) test in a nearby clinic and the result came back positive. I thought that was it. It was just a matter of time before I got sick and eventually died, I told myself.

But I was surrounded with people who cared about my well being and they encouraged me to take my TB treatment so that I could start taking antiretroviral treatment (ART) afterward.

Powerful turning point
The turning point was the day I met a woman in the corridor of a local clinic. She took interest in me and I confided in her, revealing my status to her. She told me about a support group for people living with HIV and AIDS.

The name of the support group is Let Us Grow. It was founded by mum Rose. I went there and to my surprise I fell in love with it. I was uplifted because I had given up on life.

Mum Rose and the other members welcomed me with warm hearts. With time I got to understand HIV. Even though the counsellor had tried to explain to me what it meant to be HIV positive I just did not get it.

But here I was with people who were telling me that they were HIV positive and they were living happy lives. I guess I needed someone who could relate to me their stories of living with HIV.

That gave me a boost. I immediately became a new person. I changed my attitude. I wanted to live and it was my call to make the most of it.

I picked up the pieces. I got back on my feet. I started to live. I took care of my self. I got a boyfriend. I told him my status and he accepted me the way I am. Later we got married
My husband and I decided to have a baby. I had gathered that as long as we followed medical orders we could give birth to a healthy, HIV-negative baby. The grace of God was with us and the baby was born HIV-negative.

Now my work is to revive the life of those who think being HIV-positive is a curse; that there is no hope for them.

I tell them they are wrong. I am a living example.

source:news24.com